So, lately I have not been mediating a lot. Or have I? Frankly, its hard to tell. As I round the third week of trial preparation, the last of which has been spent sleeping 3-4 hours a night on my office floor, I am struck by how I am feeling the same blissful freedom that I associate with sesshin.
David Weinstein, Roshi, recently posted an image and motto of Hakuin's that has reverberated with me everyday while I pouted about missing the koan seminar and my weekly sangha. (Aside- so sorry about abandoning you all. I hope with moderate therapy, you are going to be ok. If you didn't miss me...then I find you ungrateful). In appreciation, I am going to violate copyright:
[Ok, the image is a freebie. Sony Bono copyright extension be damned, NO ONE gets 1,100 years of protection. Except maybe Disney and we will see about that. But I digress...]
The image is below. More b/c I cannot figure out how to embed in a blog post than any affirmative artistic decisions. Its a calligraphy from Hakuin [see post below]. In the case that you were short changed by the California public education system and cannot read Japanese scrawl, the translation is:
MEDITATION IN THE MIDST OF ACTIVITY
IS A BILLION TIMES MORE EFFECTIVE THAN
MEDITATION IN THE MIDST OF TRANQUILITY.
I made it canary yellow. White was too White. But there it is...and yes. That rose up over and over and my not giving my attention to the moment, waiting for an excuse to find a cushion and silence all of a sudden seemed hollow and poor-me-ish. There it is. Right there. My life. And I am smack in the middle of this great opportunity to move in any direction and to enjoy the cold, litigation filled, binder building, cross examining, pinstriped all of it. Even the bad parts.
And then, it was strangely open and great, and I kept thinking, you know, this is not really different from zazen.
So, tanks Hakuin, buddy, for freeing me for even a moment. It was a great week of intensive sitting, even thought I never made a mudra.
[AND, since I have so wonderfully ripped off David, I want to plug for his event- May 15 Full day sit in Santa Rosa.]
Stay warm. I am going to get some sleep. Ok, a lot of sleep. Or, to quote Pete Stern, which I try not to, I am going to dream of s
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