Tonight, as I walked home from the zendo, I thought something was following me, that I was just barely seeing out of the corner of my eye. When I turned and looked, it was a shadow cast by the full moon onto the asphalt. Perhaps it surprised me because I was looking at the shadow being cast by the street light, which was facing another direction. I remember thinking it was a little eerie, and hoping it would go away. Then I realized I had no idea how I got in my head that I could only have one shadow.
But that moment when I was trying to shake the shadow, outdistance myself, made me chuckle and think about how like my relationship with my mind that was. Occasionally, it just seems like my mind is a little eerie, and I want to outdistance myself from it. Then I think, How did I ever get the notion that after zen, there would be no mind? And that was my walk home, with my shadow, neither really liking it or not, but it always there, following me in some distorted and changing way. Somewhat pretty, somehow persistant, some ways company, other ways stalking.
This blog collects the poorly edited ramblings of urban zen students, finding the teacher underfoot. We will type until someone tells us to stop. We hope you learn from our mistakes
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